How to Make Friends as an Adult: The Effort That Builds Connections
Friendship often feels effortless when we’re young. Shared classes, playground games, or college dorms create natural opportunities to connect. But as adults, friendships don’t always happen organically. Between busy schedules and responsibilities, building meaningful connections requires intentional effort. While the idea of effort may sound unromantic, it’s the secret to cultivating deep, lasting bonds. And platforms like The Moonlight Collective make it easier by creating spaces for adults to connect over shared passions.
Why Is It Harder to Make Friends as Adults?
Less Built-In Social Structures: As kids, we’re often placed in environments designed to foster connection—school, clubs, or sports teams. As adults, those opportunities diminish.
Busy Lives: Careers and parenting leave limited free time, making it easy to deprioritize socializing.
Fear of Rejection: Reaching out can feel vulnerable. What if they don’t reciprocate?
Changing Priorities: We seek friends who align with our current stage of life, which may limit potential connections.
The Effort Equation: How to Make It Work
Building friendships as adults isn’t impossible, but it requires a shift in mindset. My own experience taught me the power of this intentionality. When I moved to Taiwan as a foreigner, I felt entirely out of my element. I didn’t know the language, the culture, or anyone around me. I quickly realized I had to find a sense of belonging. I started contacting some moms at school, arranging playdates and wine nights. It wasn’t always easy, but each small step helped me build a circle of supportive connections. Platforms like Moonlight experiences make this journey more manageable by providing spaces where you can join solo and meet like-minded people in a welcoming environment:
1. Be Intentional About Where You Spend Your Time
Choose environments that attract like-minded people. Join a book club, take a class, or volunteer for a cause you care about. Shared interests create natural conversation starters. Platforms like Moonlight offer unique, in-person experiences in arts, culture, and wellness, helping adults connect meaningfully.
Tip: Repeated exposure to the same group or guide makes forming bonds easier.
2. Make the First Move
Break the ice by initiating. Ask a coworker to grab lunch, invite a neighbor for coffee, or suggest a walk with a fellow parent. Moonlight experiences are also great for solo participants looking to meet new people in a welcoming environment.
Tip: A simple “Would you like to join me?” is often all it takes. Or simply sign up for an experience or workshop.
3. Show Up Consistently
Friendship isn’t built in a day. Be consistent in attending events, reaching out, and following up. The more effort you put into showing up, the stronger your connections will grow. Moonlight’s regular events can help you establish a routine of connection.
Tip: Schedule time for social activities like you would for work or family.
4. Be Vulnerable
Deep friendships thrive on authenticity. Share your thoughts, struggles, and joys, and invite others to do the same.
Tip: Start small. Sharing a recent challenge can pave the way for deeper conversations.
5. Follow Up and Follow Through
Send a message to say you enjoyed meeting someone or suggest another hangout. Following through shows you value the connection. Moonlight’s small, intimate gatherings make follow-up easier and more meaningful.
Tip: A quick “It was great to meet you! Let’s grab coffee” can make all the difference.
6. Embrace Rejection and Keep Trying
Not every attempt to connect will work out. That’s okay. Keep putting yourself out there, and remember the effort will eventually pay off.
Tip: Reframe rejection as part of the process, not a failure.
7. Create Opportunities for Others
Host a casual dinner, organize a group hike, or start a neighborhood book exchange. By creating spaces for connection, you’re helping yourself and fostering community. Moonlight’s guides do just that - open their doors to create a welcoming environment to explore new passions.
Tip: Even a small gathering can spark meaningful friendships.
The Reward of Effort
Effort may sound like work, but the rewards are invaluable. When you put time and energy into building friendships, you create a support system, expand your horizons, and enrich your life in countless ways. As adults, we may need to seek out and nurture these connections deliberately, but that effort - no matter how small - makes friendships so fulfilling.
The Moonlight Collective make it easier to take that first step. Whether exploring a new hobby, sharing a meal, or simply seeking a connection, these curated, in-person local experiences bring people together in natural and enriching ways.
So send that text, join that group, or say yes to that invitation. The friendships you dream of are waiting on the other side of your effort. You’ve got this!
